Sick, Really Really Sick!!!

[ellanoize]

A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog on a leash. She sits down at the bar next to a drunk. The drunk rolls around, leans over, and "Splat! " He pukes all over the dog. The drunk looks down, sees the little dog struggling in the pool of vomit, and slurs, "I don't remember eating that!" [img]graemlins/gulp.gif[/img]

[Cherry_pez]

**sips coffee**

Now there is something I like to wake up and hear. LOL

[Cherry_pez]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm so did the puke have chunks or was it more liquid-like?

[cherrysis]

Just when I thought my Tummy was feeling better
YUK!!!! [img]rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Forbidden Passions]

Eeeeew!!! That's just not right*LOL

[ellanoize]

Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is the way to make ginger bread men?

Shut up and get back in the oven.
********************************************
Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere?

Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!
*******************************************
Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out!

Well throw some more gasoline on him then.
*******************************************
Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Shut up son, you'll wake your father.
******************************************
Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!

Shut up and get away from the dart board!

[ellanoize]

a fellow is riding past a retirement home one saturday, and as he passes he looks over and sees a half a dozen naked women in their seventies laying in a line on the lawn. perplexed he turns around and heads up the drive and enters the directors office. Do you realize a half a dozen old women are laying out on the lawn? The director replies,"Don't worry about them, they're ex-prostitutes. they're having a yard sale".

[cherrysmum]

hahaha...I remember those mommy mommy jokes from the 60's...but thats all I remember sigh....yard sale indeed LOL

[ellanoize]

A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table.

The diner was impressed. "Do all the waiters here carry spoons in their pockets?"

The waiter replied, "Yes. Ever since an Efficiency Expert visited our restaurant... He determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."

The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?"

The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same Efficiency Expert determined that we spend to much time washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string, do my thing, and then return to work. Having never touched myself, there really is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time."

"Wait a minute," said the diner, "how do you get your penis back in your pants?"

"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."

[cherrysmum]

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!